


Hearts and Souls Make Their Choices

by Merfilly



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-05-25 18:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6206230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leia, in a series of vignettes, through the years, in regards to Han and Luke both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hearts and Souls Make Their Choices

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lefaym](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lefaym/gifts).



Leia Organa, daughter of Bail and Breha Organa, strode confidently through life, no matter the small doubts inside her. She knew from youth that she would have to rise above most of even her peers, to live up to their already prodigious legacy. It was difficult, and at times, she felt as if it might suffocate her.

In such moments, she imagined a different life. She imagined what it would be like to be a simple farmer's daughter, far away on a distant world, living by a land that only grudgingly gave up its resources. She could feel the heat of those distant suns on her skin, taste the grit in the air, when she imagined such an anonymous life. Maybe, some day, she would find a quiet, far away place to hide in like that.

+++++

It was the mission to save Han that made her think harder than she wanted to about her situation with Luke. They were standing on Tatooine, and Luke had given them all so much information.

_I was born here._

She looked out, seeing the moisture farm near where they were holed up at, plotting the next move. Two suns were beating down, and the wind swirled a grit that clogged her nose and mouth if she forgot to wrap the scarf around her face.

She'd felt Luke, found him beneath Cloud City as if drawn to him. Now, she had seen that he was the one living the life she used to imagine. That deep connection was frightening to her, but she was also drawn to it. Luke was as much a pulse within her heart as Han had become, and she didn't wish to deny either.

Only, why had she dreamed Luke's life as a child?"

+++++

"Hold me." A simple command, a plea born out of confusion, and she felt Han wrapping his arms around her, taking care to keep her safe and warm even as his whole world was rocking violently. She felt like she should reassure him, but Leia didn't have the words right now. Her brother, her twin, was going to face _their_ father, the murderer of the Jedi and the Republic alike, alone.

Han was here, though, and they had a mission to complete come the dawn. With a small push, she managed to make him turn their steps back to the hut they were resting in. She didn't part far from him, and as she finally fell into a fitful sleep, her hand was in his. It didn't matter, though, as her mind played out the journey from the moon to the Death Star, accompanied by the mechanical breathing of the man that had tortured her… her biological father. 

+++++

Leia should have known better than to expect to just magically pick up a life that made sense now that she knew the truth about Luke. She was in love with Han, Han loved her… and then there was Luke. The connection between them flowed both ways, she learned. Luke had dreamed of her world, her life, the same as she'd done with his.

She had chosen her heart match, looked forward to settling into it with Han, but her soul had reached out for Luke all her life. How could she best balance this, without hurting either one? Han needed her, still looked skittish about the whole being in love, and so certain she was going to puff into smoke and vanish on him. Luke, though, was holding the weight of a legacy that went back into the oldest parts of galaxy history on his shoulders. She could not just abandon her brother to carry it alone.

How could they find the balance?

+++++

"Han?"

He rolled over to look at her, worry in his eyes at the seriousness of the tone. "Leia?"

She gave him a tender smile, but her eyes were sad, as she prepared to break her silence. "I'm worried about Luke."

The way he relaxed, the gentle concern in his eyes, told her that trusting her instincts was the right choice. "I know," he answered quietly. "So am I. Kid's taking on more than any person ought to."

Leia leaned in, kissing him softly before locking eyes with him. "He needs someone to take care of him, not let him get lost in duty."

Han thought about it, then nodded slowly, after searching her face for hidden meanings. "Leave it up to me."

+++++

It wasn't sexual, never would be. Luke didn't run toward desire, but he was still touch-starved. Hugs, kisses on the cheek, hands held… they all meant so much to him. More, when Han had taken it on to talk to Luke, the elder man had made it clear that Luke could and would share their quarters, whenever he needed to.

Leia was pleased enough by this compromise. She had Han as lover and father of her child, with Luke sometimes there to be fussed over and kept safe. Luke could not fall, would not, so long as Leia breathed. She didn't care for his long absences, but neither did Han. Sometimes they both left, but those times were easier for Leia, knowing Han was taking care of Luke.

When Luke threw himself into training the young Force sensitives he had found, Leia reminded herself it wouldn't be forever, and Han did all he could to keep her from worrying too much.

+++++

Taking Ben to Luke, to save her son, had seemed like such a simple answer to the problem. Han had enough on his plate and had never gotten comfortable with the Force. It didn't matter that Leia had refined her control of it to aid her duties. It didn't matter that Luke could literally do the impossible with it. Han would never be at ease with it. She had only ever wanted to protect Han from unpleasant truths, and she trusted in Luke to know how to save Ben.

It was the first time her brother had ever failed her, though.

Her son fell to the Dark Side, and then her husband left, and her brother never came home.

Leia dreamed again, but now it was not her brother that she saw.

Leia's son, flesh and blood, carved his way through the Darkness, and she witnessed it all.

+++++

She knew, the instant Han fell. She didn't have time to face those emotions, but Leia knew there would never be a reunion with her husband again.

She had lost him, and her son, in the same moment. Because Ben was truly dead, now that he had managed to overcome his Light.

Her soul cried out for them, and reached for Luke, needing that presence to help her hold on.

It was as silent as it had been since the slaughter of the new Jedi Order.

Leia had to shoulder on, as the Resistance needed her.

+++++

Luke was back, coming down off the _Falcon_ , and Leia felt her world narrow down to just him in that moment.

They were too different now, so far removed by the tragedies in their lives. 

Leia pushed the negative, the anger and helplessness, aside and strode over, clasping Luke to her.

Something in his body snapped, and he sagged into her hold, opening the bond they'd held since before they knew each other.

They would find a way, and this time, they would not make the mistake of separating.


End file.
